15 days and counting

ANTICIPATION
That's it.  Only 15 days until we head south of the border...quite a ways.  I am so totally excited, and scared to death, and looking forward to this incredible vacation.  As Carolyn and I were hiking today, we chatted a bit about how both of us have been so focused on the 4-day hike part of the trip, that we've not thought much of the other 14 days and the awesomeness that awaits us.  The hike is what is now beginning to cause a little trepidation, as anticipated.  We are not small people.  We're not as in shape as we think we are - gym rats and everything.  And the accommodations (tent, sleeping bag, no potties) are just things we're going to endure and laugh about afterwards.  Roughing it at Camp Stimson with 200 girls is cake in comparison!   

But this is somewhat of a life-experience - the "endure to the end" kind of experience to be anticipated and celebrated.  My mantra has been, over the past 5-10 years, "I can do hard things."  Now, why in the world I put myself into "hard situations" is beyond me - but I sure love it.  I lived in China alone for a summer for Pete's sake!!!!!   I can hike over some measly mountain ranges at 10-14,000 feet above sea level, barely breathing the scarce oxygen and enjoying the most breathtaking views in the world that few have witnessed in person.  I'm so excited!  I'm also excited to travel around the country and experience history, culture, and everything Peru has to offer. 

PACKING
What an ordeal.  We have weight restrictions on our in-country flights, so have to pack carefully.  THEN we have to consider what to pack for our hike, whittle all that down to 10-12 pounds on our backs, and decide what to have the porters carry (they'll carry 6 lbs of our stuff, like clothes and stuff we need at night, plus our sleeping bag and thin mat).  As we've been hiking on the weekends, we pack our backpacks and try out the weight.  So far, so good.  The funny thing is, I hike with 2- 32oz steel bottles of water.  If you do the math, that's 4 lbs right there!  But that will lighten up throughout the day.  How many granola bars and small bags of trail mix to pack?  How many bandaids?  Long-sleeves for the cold nights and short sleeves for the hot days close to the sun.  Rainjacket/windbreaker and jacket (rolled to it's smallest volume) along with the normal hiking stuff.  We're trying to be careful - hiking for 4 days, 30 miles, with 12 lbs on our backs is something we have yet to do.  But we will endure. 

HIKING TRAINING
We've been training at the gym, hiking the road at Mt. Charleston, and lately, Cathedral Rock working out our muscles, breaking in the boots, seeing where the hotspots are and trying out different remedies - moleskin, etc.  My new trial as been liner socks with toes in them - under your padded hiking socks.  This has turned out to be comical, as the toe socks make my toes tingle/go to sleep while hiking.  But they sure prevented blisters and hot spots on my toes and heel.  Hmmmm, dilemma...blisters or toe cramps?  Not sure yet.  Still working that one out.  Makes me laugh.  Haven't had blisters since that spring break experience, thank goodness!  Soooo glad we're doing some practice hiking - how much weight on our backs, boots wearing-in, what kinds of muscles to strengthen at the gym, altitude breathing (although it's not nearly as high as we need it), and endurance.  It just makes us more excited, and more realistic about the difficulty level, of what we're going to accomplish in 3 weeks.

That's the update - folks have been askin'. 

Celebrations & Reflections

Carolyn and I were asked to help take the 4th years (camp terminology) on a pre-hike to Cathedral Rock yesterday.  It was fun to actually hit some dirt this time hiking up to a really beautiful vista.  We've been doing the road so much, I forgot what hiking in dirt/rocks felt like!  And it was GREAT to get up there.  The girls were great, as usual, and we only hit one big patch of snow to hike through.  Upon reaching the top (about a 1.5 mile hike UP), the mountains behind us were breathtaking.  I tried some new socks with "toes" in them - supposedly to help prevent blisters - they did, but I think they made my toes go to sleep a little!  Oh well - trying out all sorts of things before the big trek....in 21 days!

In the afternoon, Shan and I had the opportunity to attend an amazing book signing/party for a good friend of ours who published her first book.  They had a band, beautiful catering, and at least 20 tables decorated in the parking lot of a gallery.  Ramona and her sister (who illustrated the book) seemed like they were having the best time ever signing books, taking pictures, etc.  I'm so proud of her - she's been working on this for several years and has real personal interest to the story.  Perserverance paid off - her family was incredibly proud.

Last night I spent at Em's with the family - a good all-American ballpark bbq and it was yummilicious.  But the thing that amazed me the most was Abby - just finishing kindergarten - who sat on my lap and willingly read an entire book to me.  First, I've never seen her sit down that long, and second - her reading ability will set her up for success in school.  She's growing up so much, it's amazing.  It seems like she was just born yesterday...and then 9 months later hated everyone except her mom!  Oh, those were some LONG months - I'm not sure when the turnaround was... we were just glad to have a sweet, loving niece back!  What a cutie.

I am going to be a Great Aunt in Dec/Jan.  Congrats to Sarah and Joel - I know how much of a surprise that was for them!  They have settled into a nice home and are serving in their ward in the youth programs.  Funny...they were just in those programs a few years ago!  Where does time go?  Joel's a police officer and Sarah is an asst. manager in a hoity-toity shop on the strip.  Who'da thunk just a few years ago that they'd be so grown up?  Now parents.  This will be so fun to watch!  I'm just glad to have a baby in the family....the NEXT generation begins....

As I've pondered the events and emotions of the past few months (year, really), I can't help but be grateful for how the Lord has blessed me and my family.  There have been many strikes for each hit we've got (to keep with the baseball theme last night).  But I can be grateful for those strikes.  I have had people in place to catch me when I fell, to push me when I was slow to hear/do, and to strengthen me when I was weak.  I don't feel like I can hit a homerun, but I feel like I'm on the bases now and I'm on a good team.  That's progress.  You can't hide in the dugout forever.   Today was ward conference and Bishop's talk was about being in the ship of the gospel.  We should be jumping on board, not treading water behind it.  Food for thought....

There are 3 weeks left of the school year.  How fast time has flown - 6 years have flown being a specialist.  I have to be grateful for all the learning experiences and opportunities that have come my way because of that job.  I have learned a lot in my 14 years in education and have been able to do a lot.  From teaching at a few colleges/universities to traveling to China to learn Chinese on the district's dime, to training principals and other administrators, to working with some of the best kids in the world.  It has opened doors for which I will be forever changed. I will miss that job next year, but realize that this is the best time to return to the classroom as EVERYONE will be on the same beginning page of these new standards to teach.  I couldn't have asked for better colleagues to ease me back into the classroom and only hope that they will be accepting of me even though I "pushed" someone out - there's nothing I can do but look forward and keep praying for those I pushed - maybe a miracle that the governor will reinstate some positions at our schools.   Three more weeks.  

Retire, Rewind, and Re-energize

Last night was a retirement party for my previous boss who I worked for 1/2 my career!  It was soooo much fun to return and enter the plaza area to have so many friends come and welcome me with huge hugs and smiles.  Dawn said she would have thought the party was for me - and I kinda felt like it the whole night.  My boss entered and there were some speeches and gift-giving, then more visiting, laughing, and catching-up.  I realize how much I miss 20+ of them and how much I enjoyed seeing them again - it truely felt like I was going home.  When you work somewhere for 7 years, it can feel that way.  My office staff all jumped up and hugged me when I entered the office - I sure love those ladies and miss them lots.  Our former VP, John, who had a stroke 2.5 years ago, walked in and received an applause.  He looked great, although very stroke-victim-like.  Said he's writing a book about his experience and is doing great with his rehab experiences.  Several of our former VPs came it was fun to see them as well.  One of the Asst. Area Managers, Mrs. Davies, searched me out of the crowd to come talk to me - that was nice.  They had a photo booth set up and we had a good time being crazy in there, too.  All in all, it was such a light, pleasant, comfortable evening which I walked away feeling very happy.  I know it was time to leave last year and am glad that I left on a positive note - so I could come back and visit and feel like I'm still family.

Afterwards, Dawn and Jen F and I headed over to Outback to visit until they closed - we opened the school together 8 years ago and it was so much fun catching up.  Jen has been an AP for several years and had some fun stories and experiences.  It's like we've all never been apart.  I love that about some friendships.  We had no idea we had sat in the booth from 6-10pm!! 

Tonight our ward had their annual YM/YW Camps Dinner/Auction.  They sell dinner tickets for a reasonable price (I always pay the "family" price instead of the "singles" price - it's going for a good cause, right?)  As usual, it was packed with people and the auctioneer was fun.  The youth served dinner and then they auctioned off everything from car detailing, lawn mowing, hair cuts, sewn aprons, cakes and lots of baked goods, gift baskets, piano tuning, voice lessons, and a bundt cake per week for a month.  It was fun to see which things went high - some went for well over $100.  And for our little ward, that was sacrificing a lot.  It has become a favorite ward activity and the youth benefit for their summer camps - it has helped lower the costs for the families to bear.

We leave for Peru one month from tomorrow morning (early June 12th).  It's coming so fast!  I am starting to anticipate the hell we'll go through on the Trail part of our trip, but am excited to accomplish such a phenomenal feat.

I think the picture (thanks to Google) shows a fairly FLAT section - I believe we won't be seeing too much of FLAT!

Lighten it up, will ya?

OK, I've been waaaayyyyy to moody in this blog/journal.  Here's a few things to lighten it up.

RATE MY INSTRUCTOR review
To my surprise, I got word of this posting from a student in a course I taught last spring.  Upon "googling" my name to make sure I was still private out there, I came upon this and it totally made my day.  I'd never heard of this site before, but I'm thinking I like it!!  I got a 5 out of 5 in all areas and here's the comment:  "This teacher is AMAZING.  I came into this class scared out of my mind because for one, it was a weekend class, and for two, I was in a room full of teachers already in the district.  She welcomed me with open arms.  She gives a fair amount of assignments/homework and relates everything to a real classroom situation.  I definitely recommend her!!!"

MY DAD KISSED SISTER OSMOND...or vice versa
Yep, my dad was working at the front desk of the temple and the volunteer greeter sister was none other than Marie.  My dad, the character that he can be, walks over to her and tells her the story from back in the early 80s when my mom took her laurel class to Dallas to see the Osmonds perform.  She new their manager and they got to go backstage and my mom has told everyone since that Donny kissed her cheek (and my sister's).  So my dad looks at her and asks her to plant one right on his cheek so he could have a story, too.  GO DAD.  She did and probably got a good chuckle out of it.  He was also the front desk greeter when she came in on Friday morning to get married.  He had some fun stories playing around with her then as well. 

MOTHER'S DAY
We enjoyed the entire famdamily tonight over at Kristi's - she always puts on a nice spread.  Tonight's was compliments of Bruno -their neighbor who died and Kristi's ward helped with the funeral luncheon.   All the moms were there - Mom, Kristi, Emily, even Shirley, and then me, Helen, and Sarah - the kid-less moms.  We had a good time laughing and listening to dad's recent stories as well as some from mom's "sister's weekend."  Mom breaks out these head-scratchers for each of us - because that's how we love to end our evenings together - with Kristi's girls playing with our hair and giving a head massage.  Oh how I love Katie's talented hands!  My sisters are great moms and they learned from the best.  My mom put up with a lot with us kids - and we always had the house that as teens - everyone wanted to hang out there.  My boyfriends always liked mom better than me!  She's caring, giving, and compassionate.  Happy Mother's Day, mom. 

Life's Little Lessons Wrapped in Sadness

THE STORY OF THE DILEMMA AND FORGIVENESS
I've made no qualms about spitting out my disgust for the state/local government and how they're yanking around the lives of hard working people right now as pawns in their political games - especially in the school district, as we are headed to $400 million in cuts.  Yes, that includes my current position as an ELL Specialist/Facilitator.  After a month of emotional torture, I made my decision to remain at my current school, which unfortunately forces someone else out.  Torture.  Her name is Shawn, has been at the school for 6 years, and I ran the 5K with her daughter, Cassie (see previous post.)  Everyone I know outside of the school has more than encouraged me to stay put during these unsure times of surplussing and riffing (getting a pink-slip). 

See, we are losing 6 teachers, lowest in district seniority, and it's heartbreaking and horrible.  I have felt that I am one who needs to go in order to save one of them there, since I've only been there a year.  My principal has spent time with me virtually every day this month talking me into staying and that people would understand.  I have appreciated her confidence in me and "need" for my expertise at the school and has been very understanding/sympathetic to my plight.  She has kept things level-plained for my rollercoaster mind.  The unfortunate thing is, though, that my mind races through all sorts of scenarios - real or perceived or even imagined.  This is why I feel I am going crazy, literally.  I'm almost paranoid thinking that people are looking at me and thinking that since I was the last hired at the school, that I should be the first to surplus myself.  It surely makes sense to me, so it must be in the minds of others.  Because of my perception, I have distanced myself from others so as to avoid my own discomfort.  Come to find out, that hasn't even crossed most of their minds - they see me as valuable to them as well as to the kids.  They have others that they feel should step up to the plate and surplus themselves to save the poor, excellent, young teachers who are being kicked out due to budget cuts. 

The principal gave strong, no-nonsense speech yesterday pleading with others (she has several in mind) to be a hero and leave, since there are those who do not want to collaborate, to incorporate the programs she wants the school to use, etc. and that the girls on the surplus list are those who do collaborate, lead, get involved with lots of extracurricular activities, and support the school's initiatives.  When she announced the names of the 6 whose names had to be turned in to the district to be surplussed by 4pm that day, there were tears.  My eyes welled up as well and the tears were creeping up on me. 

I retreated back to my room to soak in all the implications of no one stepping up (no one did) and how awful I feel about Shawn.  A friend came in not too soon after that and very seriously asked me if I had promised Shawn that I would go to save her.  Not in so many words, but we did chat that I would search for any way to save her.  I felt awful that Shawn was holding on to the hope that I would go - and I wanted to crawl in a hole.  The principal came in soon after and chatted with me for a good hour, amongst some strong emotions and tears of my own, and promised me that no one was thinking that I was the one who needed to go - they were all hoping for a particular few to be brave.  I told her about Shawn and asked her to speak to her before I did - that I couldn't let the day end without addressing it with her.  If it were anyone else..... but Shawn has been so friendly - more than others - and I hated to be part of the cause of some pain.  What a miserable day it turned out to be.

In the late afternoon, after the principal had spoken with her for some time, explaining my position and that she was encouraging me to stay and why, and that she was hopeful the gov't would find money to save a position or two, Shawn came in to visit with me.  She came in and right away gave me a huge, long hug.  I was brought to tears.  We sat and discussed for a while - I apologized for misleading and for not being able to find out any answers regarding my current position being reinstated, etc.  She was so kind, calm, and understanding.  She's a God-fearing woman who has placed her predicament into His hands and knows that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.  We had a nice visit and she felt bad that I had been tormenting myself for a month (no sleep, little eating, etc) about this and that I was replacing HER.  She said that no one wants me to leave and that her colleagues were mad that the "others" didn't step up, NOT me.  She actually put MY mind at ease - I can only pray for some good kharma to come her way and in my world, she'd get to stay part of this great family.  I was exhausted.

I'm trying to believe that this whole mess has a reason and that we are learning what we should through it.  Because I'd hate to go through all this and NOT learn anything!  I know that things will turn out the way they are supposed to even though we can't see it right now.  I am still not comfortable at school all the way, but come to think of it, I never have been since the beginning of the year.  I've become much less social and much more contemplative...NOT a good thing.  I am still very guarded and distant I think and I don't know how to find that fun person I used to be - who didn't care what people thought about her!  I'm beginning to think she's a myth.......

I can't wait for the "fat lady to sing" or "the eagle has landed" or "the tribe has spoken" or "you ARE the weakest link...goodbye"  - and this can all be a memory...and that things will end up on the positive side of this line.

Kindness begins with....K

On Saturday, my school hosted the finale of a 12-week "running club" - students, teachers, parents.  They ran a 5K in cold morning wind and it was quite fun.  I attached myself to a kindergartner, a daughter of a coworker, and jogged/walked/dragged her on the 8 laps around the school, each time getting another mark on our hands, celebrating.  Cassie and I were dead last - the medals and certificates were already being distributed, but on we walked (prodded with the prospect of a popsicle at the end - she was more excited about that than the medal!)  It was good for me to do this - I, myself, wanted to try running/jogging it as a personal goal, but when I saw Cassie, knowing how difficult this is for her each week, and that her mom was unable to run with her, I decided to put my goals aside and "hang" with her.  I enjoyed sticking out my tongue and waving my hands by my ears encouraging her to "catch me," holding her hand, playing games, and other fun taunts.  But when we crossed the finish line, I motioned to a teacher to have the PE teacher announce her name (she announced each one as they crossed earlier) and the crowd turned around and cheered for her.  It was really cool.  And her first question was...where's my popsicle?

But an even cooler story is one of sheer kindness and selflessness.  Three boys - Cole, Cameron, and Alexis - were neck-in-neck in the lead the entire time.  As they rounded the last corner to head towards the finish line, they all bumped into each other and tripped a little.  Alexis went down, and Cameron lost his shoe.  But they both kept running to the end, cheering each other on.  Alexis had been in the front the entire time, and was the child to fall down on the curve.  I did not hear the end of the story until this morning at opening ceremonies.  Apparently, Cameron, who came in 1st after all, GAVE his 1st place medal to Alexis, who should have come in 1st the entire race.  Then, Cole, who came in 2nd, GAVE his medal to Cameron and Cole ended with 3rd place.  The principal teared up this morning as she had the 3 boys come up and told the story to the entire school.  Then, of course, our song of the month was "I'm Proud to Be An American" and all the teachers teared up.  It's nice to work at a place that fosters "kindness," even amongst the kiddos.

But the coolest story of the day...our 2nd grade is hatching chicken/duck eggs and I got to witness something I've never seen EVER before - a chick actually pecking it's way out of the egg and it's first moments of life.  It was one of the most incredible things I've ever witnessed.  I was mesmerized for a good 15 minutes.  It's amazing thing - life.  All in all, between the 4 classes, I think they hatched 12 today alone.  I can't wait to see a duckling!

And finally, I did something I thought I'd never, ever, ever do.  I bought a banana.  Yes, you read it right.  A banana.  I can't stand the smell, texture, taste, or even thought of a banana.  But I've got to try and incorporate it into my diet.  So, I took about 1/5 of it and sliced it into my Magic Bullet blender with my protein powder.  It took me a good 30 seconds to talk myself into drinking my shake.  It looked the same as always,  It smelled the same as always.  I thought I was good to go.  THEN I took a sip.  Faint banana taste.  Another sip.  Stronger banana taste.  I couldn't quit yet...another sip...GAG reflex, regurgitation, spit out, and poured it all out into the sink.  I just couldn't take the taste.  It was screaming "banana" in all my senses.  And I didn't even add that much!!!  Oh well, at least I can say I tried.