Happy Birthday to Me

Well, I've done it again. I've gotten another older. I've been thinking quite a bit lately about my meager 37 years on the planet, and I'd like to share a few things I've learned.

37 Things I've learned in my life:
1. Tootsie Rolls are addictive when fresh.
2. I've climbed the Great Wall of China, not once, but twice. Both times I've pondered the antiquity of where I was standing.
3. I've earned a bachelor's in Spanish, a master's degree in Education, and a certificate of Advanced Studies. I've taken over 100 extra credits of courses to make me a better educator. I've also decided that administration is NOT the route I'd like to take.
4. Teaching teachers is just like teaching students, but worse. Teachers break all the rules - talk out, come late, text during class, talk to neighbors, and complain. But, unlike teaching kids, I can use my humor and sarcasm in rare form.
5. I learned how to get out of marching band during high school
6. I've learned to hit the SAVE button OFTEN while working on anything important
7. I overcame my fear of dogs - as a child, it's been told that I had a terrible phobia of any dog any size. If I saw one, I'd run into even a stranger's house. I I now pet all sorts of dogs and am considering a chihuahua of my own.
8. The Haulocaust DID happen - I've toured a concentration camp in Germany
9. Having been born in Turkey (during a time of Martial Law, come to find out) has now become a matter of national security. It took a senator's push to issue me my current passport.
10. Jean ValJean will always die at the end of Les Miserables

11. I may be the only person in America who didn't read the Harry Potter or Twilight series
12. There are always 2 sides to things...teachers are human, too
13. Drinking the water in Guatemala is a great dietary supplement (the amoebas and parasites are an added bonus)
14. Big Ben is the name of the bell, not the famous tower structure (in London)
15. I can get around on subways in New York, London, Paris, Rome, Germany
16. Riding in a hot air balloon isn't as scary as it seemed
17. There is no medal for snow skiing down a bunny slope several times
18. Lake Mead does not return things dropped, such as my custom-made leather sandals I brought home from my mission. I was so angry that one slipped when riding a jet ski that I threw the other one into the abyss. I drove home from Logandale barefooted in the summer
19. It doesn't save you THAT much money to see how long you can freeze yourself in your home before turning on the heater for the winter!
20. I'll wait weeks to buy a 12 pack of diet cherry coke until the price drops to $2.50, but I don't seem to hesitate to buy one 20oz bottle from the machine at $1.25

21. Seeing a baby being born (thanks to my sister) is one of the most incredible experiences one can have (besides actually birthing a baby, I'm sure)
22. My dad will always be my dad and do dad things for me
23. Mechanical pencils are much better to write with than #2 pencils
24. If you drink lots of water before bed, you'll have to get up lots during the night
25. Sonic ice is the bomb
26. I like opera - especially the voices of Josh Groban and Andrea Bocelli
27. I should have been keeping a journal all these years
28. Using a toaster oven is different than using a real person's oven
29. Chinese is much more difficult to learn than was Spanish
30. I've learned to like eating more than my famous "10 things" as a kid, youth, and young adult. I've come a long way - now with yogurt, jam, kidney beans, meat, spinach, etc.

31. I wonder about the people I knew in Guatemala from my mission and what they're doing now, who's passed away, and how they are doing
32. A cruise ship is the all inclusive way to travel
33. There will always be construction on the Las Vegas streets and freeways
34. People will come and go from your life like sands in the hourglass
35. To see great Fall colors, drive through Cedar Mtn in October - that's the closest. Or drive down main street Santa Clara. Still plan on going to Vermont someday to see 'real Fall.'
36. If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck.
AND FINALLY.........................

37. When you're 17, you have a picture of what your life will be (usually married to a cute guy with 3.2 adorable kids under toe, PTA, cooking/baking, working, dressing up for Halloween, Santa, etc) Twenty years later, when you're 37 and never married, you think of opportunities of all sorts missed. You see your life vastly different than those around you and try to make sense of it all. It doesn't make one happy or sad - just sort if indifferent. I've had many rare opportunities to enjoy in it's place.

IF YOU MADE IT TO THE VERY BOTTOM OF THIS LIST, YOU WIN A PRIZE. JUST SEND A SELF-ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE WITH $10 TO MY ADDRESS AND I'LL SEND YOU A SCRATCH-N-SNIFF STICKER AS A REWARD. haha

Another Good Book

I just finished another book that sucked me in this weekend - CANE RIVER by Lalita Tademy. It was the story of 4 generations of astonishing women battling injustice to unite their families on a Creole plantation in Louisiana. They are women whose lives begin in slavery, who weather the Civil War, and who grapple at the contradictions of emancipation through the turbulent early years of the 20th century. There is ELIZABETH, who bears both a proud legacy and the yoke of bondange...her youngest daughter SUZETTE, who is the first to discover the promise - heartbreak - of freedom...and her strong-willed daughter, PHILOMENE, who uses a determination born of tragedy to reunite her family and gain unheardof economic independence...and EMILY, her spirited daughter, who fights to secure her children's just due and preserve their dignity and future.

It was a fairly easy read - all 475 pages - and makes you stop and think about the practicalities of the history we've come to know. I'd recommend it to anyone who likes to read.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND...No thanks - I'll stick with DOS

INSTALLING A HUSBAND  
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct
slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs
such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Porn 6.9.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail. What can I do?
 
Signed, 
Desperate
 
DEAR DESPERATE, 
 
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment P ackage, while Husband
1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and
try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If
that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Girlfriend 2.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer
6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly
Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it
runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your
system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program.
This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0, Hot
Lingerie 7.7 and Boob Job 3.8.DD.

Good Luck Babe!  
Tech Support

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL WHO RUN THESE TYPE PROGRAMS.
I prefer to use "Owndecisionmaker 2.0" and "Solitaire 37.0"
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The Prodigal Driver Goes to Car Hospital

Last year I returned to Toyota (I strayed for a while since college, but the prodigal driver is back). I absolutely love my RAV4 and it's taken me to Utah several times, California, the mountains, zipping all over town. I spent months testing different smaller SUVs (I was thinking of returning to a Rodeo, but they don't make them anymore. So I had to start my search all over.) I've been pleased with every part of this car and think this will be the one I keep for a long time.

So imagine my surprise yesterday when I went to fill it up with gas (side note: I was waiting and waiting for gas prices to drop under $2.00 and patience paid off!) So I thought I'd treat my gal to a carwash. As I was enjoying the swishing and swashing of the experience, I felt a little drop of water on my head. Then another. I looked up to my sunroof and the edge of the slide cover was showing water saturation, then yes, another drip. I was afraid to open the slide cover, thinking that it was full of water. Drip, drip, and maybe a 5th.

I ran my cold groceries home and immediately took my sick car back to the Toyota hospital. The doctor opened the slide cover, I held my breath that water wouldn't come sloshing down into the car (it didn't), and he took my car back into the ER. A few minutes later, he returned and said the window seal had a 'fracture' and that I need to bring her back in on Mon or Tues for surgery. SOOOOO glad it happened this weekend and not next weekend (a holiday AND forcasted 3 days of rain). I'm sure she'll be ship-shape in time for the long weekend. I may just have her rest in the garage for a few days.

We should be fine. There's no need for dinners to be brought in or any other service. We'll get through this hiccup together! ;o)
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Won the Lottery!

I feel as though I've won the lottery! In the mailbox today was a suspicious letter from RC Willey. I pondered why RC would be writing me, seeing that I haven't been in his store since last year (to get a fridge.) To my surprise, enclosed was a gift card to ME! Yep, a real gift card! Just for me! Between now and February, I can go spend the $12.28 that they sent me! At RC Willey! Do you know what that means? Can you just imagine what all I could get for that amazing amount of cash?
1. A leather button from an expensive leather sofa
2. The pull-chain of a fancy lamp
3. A knob from a hand-crafted dresser drawers
4. A sample tile, wood plank, or square of carpet
5. Batteries for a whoop-tee-do remote control for a flat screen TV
6. The stuffing from INSIDE a decorative pillow
7. The jewel case of a free DVD giveaway
8. 3 pens that say "RC Willey"
9. A cardboard computer monitor and keyboard used to stage desks
AND FINALLY
10. 1 ride in the cool kids' cart around the store

Now really, I am in the giving spirit. If anyone has better use of my $12.28 gift card, I'd love to give it to you to put towards a purchase of a whole couch, an entire lamp, a real desk. Just let me know. I'd hate to see good money go to waste in this tough economic time. Happy Shopping.

An ODE to Sinuses

Here's my ODE to sinuses, as I've been well acquainted with them for almost a week now. They're like a pesky friend who comes in town to visit and leaves a mess behind.
S - stuffy, snotty, scratchy,
I - Inhalation of Vicks
N - Nasaly sounding voice
U - useless medications
S - so not sleeping soundly at night
E - exhausted during the day
S - Sudafed makes my heart beat faster

My only consolation - many people at work are suffering together. New remedy to try: rub Vicks on the bottom of your feet and cover with socks overnight. Well, we'll see how that works out!
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Good Reads

I've finished 2 really interesting books last month and I recommend them to anyone who thinks their life is hard.




"The Dowery Bride" was about a young woman in India who escaped her near-fatal living situation because her father couldn't pay the dowery promised within a year. The dowery has been illegal in India since the 60s, but is still practiced under the table. If doweries aren't paid, one custom is the husband and his mother try and kill the wife in order to set the husband up for a new dowery bride. Very interesting and fairly easy read.

The other book, "A Thousand Splendid Suns" was a real page-turner. It takes place in Afganistan and follows the stories of 2 girls/women through their arranged marriages, the abuse and their will to survive, and the paths that crossed and changed lives for forever. It was a tender story, especially the last third.

These both were real eye-openers - it's good for us to read about the plights of women around the world and realize how fortunate we are in so many ways. If you read these, I'd love to hear back from you.

Ahhh, a little reprieve from life

I so enjoyed the 4-day weekend we just had. On my way to Cedar City, I stopped to have lunch at Wingers and ran into Shan and her sisters - what a small world. Thanks to Amber and Karma (and Bob) for letting me come up and hang out at their "hide-away" in Cedar City. I read another book, watched movies and a few episodes of NCIS (a new show to me), learned how to bake yummy chicken and broil an actual steak, and enjoyed listening to Karma's memories (she's 88). We did some window shopping, and had a nice visit with Sadie, too. It's always good to see her! Each morning it was foggy or snowy in the mountains and we even enjoyed a little rain on Sunday. I soooo love weather like that...it makes me realize that I'm truely out of town!!!!! I took my time driving home on Tuesday - stopping into TaiPan and the Boulevard to name a few stores. I meandered home late in the afternoon and tried to get my mind geared up for another few weeks of work. I woke up this morning with stuffy sinuses and a headache that can only be compared to a hangover - from relaxing...NOT drinking!

I've been plucked...

Many months ago, I purchased some feather pillows from the very expensive department store known as Kmart. Every night I cuddle with one and lay on the other as I lay my tired head down on the bed in utter bliss. In order to eliminate "leaks," I put a pillow cover between the pillow itself and my favorite pillow cases. Low and behold, you get what you pay for. For at least 2 months now, I get poked in the face or neck with the pointy part of a feather - I pull it out - and toss it to the floor (I know what you're thinking...trying to make my floor softer to walk on, right? No, just too lazy to go all the way to the trash!) Well, more and more are "leaking" through and it doesn't matter how often I vaccuum (um, well, not very often...) I seem to have feathers everywhere!

What's the most funny about this ditty is that a 1st grader pulled a white feather off my butt (black pants) this morning in the hallway at work and said, "Ms. Covey - did you sit on a bird?" HELP! I've officially been plucked! I need new feather pillows!

Living History - November 4, 2008

We surrender, I guess.
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