Recently I've been pondering the evolution of my persona over the last 2 decades since graduating from high school. I have evolved from a RED/BLUE to a WHITE/BLUE personality trait (based on the "Color Code.") Too bad I never developed more YELLOW (party people)! I used to thrive on attention, power, management, obnoxiousness, and hated to be alone.
But I have evolved into much the opposite - not all the way - but 75% the way in the opposite direction. I enjoy solitude - I enjoy the company of friends, mind you - but to truely relax, I enjoy being by myself - that may come from having to live alone for so long. Now I enjoy the mountain cabin over the 10th story hotel room of a large city. I don't enjoy large parties or functions - much rather enjoy a small group at a time. I don't enjoy being up 'in front' speaking anywhere anymore - but I do it if necessary - I'd much rather speak/train small groups or individuals. My organization has slipped, but my mind still has everything quite organized - I still think in tables and graphs.
Knowing who you are and what your limits are affect your life in a number of ways - how you deal with things tells a lot about you. Sometimes I'm fairly proud of myself for the ways I handle stress and conflict. Other times I wonder why I act/speak so fast or why I can't seem to say "NO" when taking on new obligations. I'm an avid avoider of contention - I can't deal with it. Sometimes it gets exhausting building up others when they're down in the dumps or ultra-stressed, yet I find joy in helping others regain their confidences. And other times all it takes is one compliment, one smile, or one acknowledgement to make it all worth it to me. I accomplished a huge task this week in a timely manner and my boss just looked at me in amazement. I felt needed and appreciated.
Personality - a funny thing. We think we're one way, but every person we meet perceives us in their own interpretation depending on their own experiences and schema. Life's funny that way.
2 comments:
I know I've changed in some ways over the years too. Some out of necessity and some for survival. I'd like to think it's not ALL bad but there are traits I wish I could have back and some I'd gladly give back.
deep thoughts...I haven't retaken that test in a while, I only remember that I was RED, don't remember the other colors or even what they mean. Maybe I should take a look again to see if I've changed or remained stagnant.
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