Ain't No Mountain High Enough

I typically don't post very personal, serious thoughts, but I may from time to time here on out.  My dad has cancer.  He's had it for almost 10 years - a 'walking miracle,' the doctor said.  Our miracle we've enjoyed as if nothing was wrong inside.  The man is a stud - a talented, hard-working, perfectionist, creative, stalwart stud.  Right now, he's got cancer attacking his bones - the nerve of it.  And somehow, he's developed a large tumor in his liver and some stray stuff on a kidney.  Cancer knows no boundaries and takes no prisoners.   This week (on Wed) he's having some surgery to check things out - an "autopsy" he told someone mistaking it for "biopsy."  We've had a great laugh at that one!  But mortality and reality are banging heads right now and it's been a highly emotional week, culminating in a dark, lonely, heartbroken Friday night.  After a LONG, draining day of holding everything in while presenting to my new staff for much of the day, I headed home to face my feelings head on.  A friend called in the middle of my misery as if sent by someone on purpose :o)

Saturday, I had all intentions of climbing to the top of Griffith Peak - my arch-nemesis of the year - I am determined to reach the peak now that my hip is healed and before snow engulfs it once more.  I headed out with Carolyn, asking for some space to clear my head, be "at one" with nature, and to just have a chance to ponder life in general.  I was emotionally spent, which transcribed itself into my physical capability to put one foot in front of the other.  As I reached the 1st overlook  over 2 miles up and sat down overlooking the majestic vistas, I realized that THIS was not the mountain I wanted to be on that day.  I wanted to go to another 'mountain' for some peace and comfort.  So I told her that today was NOT my day to reach the peak and that I wanted to head back down and go home.  I showered and drove to the temple, through tears and worry.  Nothing grandiose happened there, except that when I walked in, I had no more tears.  It was a normal session.  I left feeling uplifted and at peace, though.  Since then, I've been ok.   I'm so glad I switched mountains.

Tonight my family got together for dinner and we enjoyed reminiscing about old times - old pets, old houses we'd lived in, dad trying to teach us the birds and the bees using our hamsters (it backfired), dad's obsession with Jumbo Jacks at Jack 'n the Box, and more.  Then we talked seriously about reality - what exactly the doctors have said and what we're looking at regarding Wednesday's surgery.  The sons-in-law gave him a priesthood blessing and then we pretty much said our goodbyes.  My sisters and I decided to go be with my mom at the hospital during the surgery since none of us would be any good at our jobs that morning.  We just have to wait and see what we're going to face.  My dad is in good spirits and looks healthy on the outside, says he feels no discomfort, and of course doesn't want us to worry too much.  Too bad that last part's not up to him! 

We're counting our blessings......